


We Can Still Choose

by Droupy48



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Orion Black's A+ Parenting, Sirius Black Needs a Hug, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22082530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Droupy48/pseuds/Droupy48
Summary: Five times Sirius tries to earn love and one time it is freely given.
Relationships: Orion Black & Sirius Black, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Walburga Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	We Can Still Choose

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am. Starting new stories instead of updating the one I promised to update two years ago. Or three years ago? 
> 
> And here's Sirius, needing a hug.

September 1, 1971. Platform 9 ¾. Sirius stands next to his parents and his brother. He stares at the scarlet train in front of him and waits. He is so close. He is nearly away. He just has to last a little longer. Less time than it would take him to count all the windows on the train, probably. If he goes slow.

They’re early. Not early enough to seem eager, but early enough to be unhurried. Early enough for a final chat with his father. He knows that’s what this is building up to. They had exchanged words at the breakfast table, and then in the parlor, where he’d been sent to wait while his parents and brother finished their breakfast without the ‘intrusion of his poor behavior’. 

The platform is starting to fill up.

There are eight windows on the car in front of him and eight on the car next to it. And six… seven… eight on the car next to that.

In the parlor, there had been declarations. Sirius would sit with Cousin Narcissa on the train and during the Welcoming Feast. Sirius would inquire after the well-being of the Malfoys and the Notts and the other families inferior-but-still-dear to the Blacks. Sirius would introduce himself to his year mates and begin building his ‘network’. Sirius would need a ‘network’ to carry him the next seven years, since he lacked focus and was exceedingly dim. There’d been a reckless question on befriending Muggle-borns and a correction. There’d been insinuations. That perhaps he wasn’t yet ready to leave home. That perhaps he should spend another year here with his tutor, where his mother could keep an eye on him and his father could continue helping him grow into a _fitting heir_. There was an apology and another correction. There was a more-formal, far lengthier apology for his comment at breakfast, for repeatedly speaking out of turn, and for being a general disappointment. There was a promise to do well at school. And finally, there was a beautiful and glorious dismissal.

54 windows. _Regulus, would you like to see the engine?_ 55 windows. His mother leads Regulus away. 56 windows. His father is moving into his space. 57 windows. His father drops a hand onto the back of his neck. 57 windows.

_Leaving home can be difficult at first._

57 windows. He can’t really see them at this point. They’re too far down the platform. He’d need to step back. But he knows how many there should be based on the cars he can make out. So he can keep going. Keep going. 58 windows.

_Though you might feel isolated, remember that home is not really so far away. It only takes an owl to let your family know how you are doing._

64 windows. 65. 66.

_Your mother and I look forward to being proud of you._

70\. 71. 72. There is a hand on his chin, turning his head away from the train so he can look his father in the eyes.

_Sirius, give me some indication that I am not raising a dugbog wearing very expensive robes._

“Yes, sir. I can make you proud.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from The Perks of Being a Wallflower:  
> "So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there."
> 
> This is me trying to work through some things. Didn't read through it too much because I was worried I'd never post it. I'll update soon. Soon-adjacent :)


End file.
